


Dust and Ashes and Dreams

by Zaniida



Series: MCU Oneshots [5]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: (that's not the same as family-friendly), Anticipating Death, Bring tissues, Dark Thoughts, Depressing Statistics, F/M, FMI: Vulnerability, Galaxy-friendly, I've been reminded that Morgan wasn't even born yet, Nightmares, Post-snap, Recontextualized Lines, and i don't care, this is now officially an AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:40:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25679749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zaniida/pseuds/Zaniida
Summary: In the wake of the Snap, staring death in the face and not knowing whether (most of) his loved ones are even still alive... Tony's not doing too well.
Relationships: Nebula & Tony Stark, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark
Series: MCU Oneshots [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1490792
Comments: 25
Kudos: 11
Collections: August Intimacy 2020





	Dust and Ashes and Dreams

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Signamino](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Signamino/gifts).



> If you're looking to see Tony rescued from this situation, well, that happens in the films and this is meant to slide right into ~~canon _except for the part where Morgan wasn't even conceived yet holy cow that's a thing whoops_~~ **mostly** canon just call it a "that's the only change" AU.
> 
> (I swear, I wrote a fic where the very _premise_ starts with Tony freaking out about caring for an infant _after losing Peter_. You'd think this order of events would've cemented itself in my brain.)
> 
> Anyway, don't expect his rescue/relief to get described here; it's time to wallow in the emotions of inevitable loss ^_^
> 
>  **Signamino** , hope I haven't misjudged the kind of stuff you can enjoy; I was just hunting through my comments section for someone to gift this to, and you seemed positively connected to negative emotional experiences, so. I don't have time to look more closely '^_^

He’s put together a couple dozen recordings, all his rambling thoughts since losing Peter… since losing everyone.

Not everyone. He _hopes_ not everyone.

He tries not to think about the odds, but it’s hard to keep his brain from going there. Fifty percent chance that Pepper’s still alive. Fifty percent chance that Morgan’s still alive. Only a twenty-five percent chance that they both are.

One out of four.

One chance in four that Pepper will raise Morgan as a single mom, mourning the loss of her husband alone; Morgan’s barely old enough to remember him, and Happy might be gone as well. There’s virtually no chance that this ship or its contents will get close to Earth in the next hundred years, so Pepper’s going to spend the rest of her life wondering what happened to Tony, unable to move on from that uncertainty.

That’s the thing she wanted most from him, to stop all the uncertainty. But there’s nothing he can do about that, not anymore.

She might not even be around to care. One chance in four that Pepper is gone, but Morgan remains. A few days more and she’ll be the only Stark left alive. Will she be raised by Happy, by Rhodey? Or by strangers?

Is Morgan—Pepper’s eccentric uncle, the one they named the kid after—still alive? He can’t recall; his memory’s been getting fuzzy. If the guy survived _(fifty percent chance)_ , maybe Morgan will get raised by Morgan. At least she’ll grow up offbeat, unfettered by social norms; that’s something that Tony has always hoped for her.

One chance in four that Tony’s the only one left… and not for much longer.

He shoves that thought into the blackest pit of his mind before it can undo him.

* * *

The dust stretches out around him, an endless desert sea, and his feet sink further in with each exhausted step; it’s up to his thighs now, and soon enough he’s going to stop, and sink into the dust himself, and it will all be over. After everything he’s been through, it’s a comforting thought.

Ahead of him, there’s a flash of golden orange, and two figures half-submerged in the dust. Pepper turns toward him with a sad little smile, Morgan in her arms, and as he’s struggling toward her with the little strength remaining to him they’re slipping further under, to Pepper’s waist and Morgan’s shoes, to Pepper’s chest and Morgan’s neck, and he’s reaching toward them he can see the light through their fading bodies he’s choking on the dust can’t even scream—

He jolts awake to Nebula poking him on the shoulder, and as his mind sorts out what’s real again, he starts to shake, curling over into her lap as she awkwardly rubs his back and says nothing.

Speaking hurts, these days. They’re too dehydrated to even cry.

* * *

The oxygen’s run out; they’re not gonna last another day. The exhaustion is almost too much to bear, but the dreams are worse, so he’s going to stay awake as long as he possibly can.

He reaches for the helmet and hesitates, not quite ready to push that button one last time. If Pepper’s still alive _(don’t think about the odds)_ , he doesn’t want his last message to be any sadder than it needs to be. In case she ever sees it. She or Morgan.

_I should probably lie down… for a minute, rest my eyes_.

 _Please know, when I drift off… I’m fine, totally fine_.

 _And I dream about you. Because it’s always you_.

**Author's Note:**

> It's always possible that I'll write a follow-up (because sometimes the Muse goes there), but this was conceived as a downer one-shot, from a prompt of one character waking another from a nightmare.
> 
> Part of the event I'm hosting about my [Five Moments of (Nonsexual) Intimacy](https://allbingo.dreamwidth.org/162885.html) fic form, which runs throughout August; this is in the category of Vulnerability.
> 
> * * *
> 
> Incidentally, in case anyone is wondering about the _Galaxy-friendly_ tag, that's material that would not unduly trouble GalaxyThreads. Which includes: Tony is not unfaithful, Loki is not evil/irredeemable; it's not sexual, doesn't include much gore or vulgar language, and doesn't go into a few troublesome topics. Just a personal tag that I coined, like elbows-friendly and Denise's Delight (which are for my _Person of Interest_ readers).

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Dusty Dreams, Calloused Hands](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25924543) by [AQuietThinker](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AQuietThinker/pseuds/AQuietThinker)




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